Alone

Well, it looks as if I am the leper now.

I will assume my last post was too touchy for most.

This is what happens when a person grows up with themselves as their biggest consoler. I guess I grew up so many years as my own imaginary friend that I literally do talk to myself. If there is one thing I do that makes people really mad it's that I keep to my own. I don't fight, argue, bicker or any of the stuff most people seem to do with family and friends. I just try to be there to help out people but then I retreat into my own world. It's not that I don't like people or need contact, but there comes to a breaking point that if I don't have time to myself, I start to breakdown. It's like a lack of sleep, but it's more like a lack of selfishness. How crappy does that sound? I don't feel like I'm selfish enough... Should I even try to defend that statement?

Probably not.

I have very little stress in my life. Really, if I do have any stress, it's usually tacked on to someone else's stress. My ripples are insignificant in comparison to the waves some of my friends have to deal with. No, my life rests on a pretty calm body of water.

But when I do have problems, I try to keep them to myself, until they have been resolved. My biggest problem right now... sleeping. I took a simple single pill last night and I was dead. I was averaging about five hours of sleep, natural sleep. Last night I got over nine hours but the morning was awful. I almost thought of taking the day off. My eyes once again burned and my skin looks awful. Yup, it's true. I have a reaction to the over the counter meds that didn't exist a month ago. I've got an appointment with a dermatologist tomorrow. Perhaps I'll learn that all my problems will soon resolve themselves.