Ever have a night that you think too much?
I think I'm tired of living. I'm tired of breathing, eating, waking, sleeping... all the stuff that is about surviving and not about surviving. Maybe I need a vacation or a change of scenery or something... Maybe I just haven't found a place of content, a place of belonging, a place where I fit. Maybe there isn't a place. Maybe I need to change my thinking. Maybe I need to peel back the layers I've added over time to my scope of perceptions. Maybe I need to alter the patterns I've created for reasons I can't recall.
Why did I think about this? Babies and happiness. Money comes and goes, as does all material resources, but caring and the continuation of life... that's what we do with or without happiness, but the rewards are usually sweeter than not. And no more babies for me... because I'm in a place where I feel... like not.
Maybe I just need to get on a bike and ride somewhere, away from cars. I don't like bike rides waiting for disaster at someone else's hands... or wheels.
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9 comments:
Pretty deep gravy. No answers from me on this one.
But if it's more baby-sitting you crave, you know where to find me.
Yeah... I'll find you cleaning everyone else's yard but our's...
Seriously, would it kill you to mow our yard every now and then?
No better way I wanted to spend my holiday. Believe me, I wasn't happy.
Make ya a deal -- I'll mow your yard if you build me a new fence. Heck, I'll even throw in one of those fancy-schmancy imported 6-packs you drink.
Oh sure... I build you a fence and then I never see you again. I guess I could try a chicken wire fence... but that might attract chickens...
(btw- where you got the impression that I build or do anything handy is beyond me.)
I didn't know those canned lite beers Gravy likes were imported. ;-) I thought they were brewed in St. Louis!
Wow, yeah, those were some storms this weekend. Trees and debris all over the place.
You held Haley, didn't you?
I thought Sunday night was worse than Saturday morning...
I did hold Haley. But I didn't stick my finger in her mouth!
I do think you need a vacation that doesn't involve visiting family. You don't ever do stuff like that for yourself...or you haven't since France anyway.
France was sooooo freaking hot it was good yet miserable!
Hmmmmmm... Seychelles... hmmmm...
Your thinking makes me think.
I think you need lunch at Yia Yias.
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